Out she came from behind
The cloak of darkness dropped
Emerging into the world
Her Sun kissed her morning
And felt her soft cheeks
The sky looking upon
The trees bow low, their flowers fall
Quick to reach the ground below
Lest her feet tread upon earth
The breeze, to her it rushes
Embracing her within itself
Caressing her hair and comfort
And as night descends upon her world,
The moon gently smiles,
Breeze unwilling to let go
She looks at the sky, the stars
Give her the twinkle in her eyes
Before they close and hide her
Again, forever.
Lost
I was on a road, on a journey
The world my companion
A lost couple, a decided few
The rest in blinding oblivion
Among the lost I was, and haunted
I felt, knowing there was a place
There are ways, paths plethora
Not knowing which, to that place, takes.
To the past I was chained,
To the Future, addicted
To the Present but blinded
And in confusion I had drowned
Lost I was, no doubt
Lost I had been, no wonder
For at a point of paths three
My instinct did but stutter
The path first seen was
That well trodden, well defined
Respected was he who travelled
Upon it, that place you reached
Second the path was wide
Less trodden upon it had been
Respect it commanded, though
A survivor yet to be seen
For this path though wide,
Was an infant in age, with none
That had traversed upon it could
Claim of having seen the sun
Whether the traveler would
Fall into that pit of looming darkness or
Reach that place of light and joy
Was beyond our knowingness
And yet travelers it had, a select few
For knowledge was necessary
To guide those curious, chiefly for respect
Some for pleasure, some for reasons arbitrary
And then there lay that path other
That which capture my heart and mind
That lay unworn by foot steps
For respect was not its kind
Overgrown it was, weeds of ignorance
Lay strewn, underneath lay the way
The few who took effort, broke their backs
Uncovered that path, feebly seen to the light of day
That the path that lead you to conquer
Self and other, mind and manner
That the path that enticed my curiosity
Challenged my mind and captured my wonder
At that crossroad did I stand
Looking at those pathways three
Looking behind at the people dazed
Looking again at my choices free
Hands that led me till here point down
To that road new, that road infantile
For they found comfort in my walking
On that road at least a mile
My fingers urged my feet down
That path overgrown, mysterious and alluring
Brave I was to think it a choice, they said
For apparently that wasn’t my calling
Amidst this confusion was a hand another
Knew not to guide me but comfort
A silent promise it bore, either way take you
Holding you I’m there, t’ was curt
That the hand was there made
No difference to my strife
But that the hand was there made
All that difference in my life
Too long I stood at those crossroads three
‘Cos down was I pushed that path new
Respect, said the pushing hands
I was pushed, ‘tis true.
Now I find a way strange, so different
From the rest, alienated felt I
Swallowed by loneliness but deserted by tears
The hand that remained saying, don’t cry.
The world my companion
A lost couple, a decided few
The rest in blinding oblivion
Among the lost I was, and haunted
I felt, knowing there was a place
There are ways, paths plethora
Not knowing which, to that place, takes.
To the past I was chained,
To the Future, addicted
To the Present but blinded
And in confusion I had drowned
Lost I was, no doubt
Lost I had been, no wonder
For at a point of paths three
My instinct did but stutter
The path first seen was
That well trodden, well defined
Respected was he who travelled
Upon it, that place you reached
Second the path was wide
Less trodden upon it had been
Respect it commanded, though
A survivor yet to be seen
For this path though wide,
Was an infant in age, with none
That had traversed upon it could
Claim of having seen the sun
Whether the traveler would
Fall into that pit of looming darkness or
Reach that place of light and joy
Was beyond our knowingness
And yet travelers it had, a select few
For knowledge was necessary
To guide those curious, chiefly for respect
Some for pleasure, some for reasons arbitrary
And then there lay that path other
That which capture my heart and mind
That lay unworn by foot steps
For respect was not its kind
Overgrown it was, weeds of ignorance
Lay strewn, underneath lay the way
The few who took effort, broke their backs
Uncovered that path, feebly seen to the light of day
That the path that lead you to conquer
Self and other, mind and manner
That the path that enticed my curiosity
Challenged my mind and captured my wonder
At that crossroad did I stand
Looking at those pathways three
Looking behind at the people dazed
Looking again at my choices free
Hands that led me till here point down
To that road new, that road infantile
For they found comfort in my walking
On that road at least a mile
My fingers urged my feet down
That path overgrown, mysterious and alluring
Brave I was to think it a choice, they said
For apparently that wasn’t my calling
Amidst this confusion was a hand another
Knew not to guide me but comfort
A silent promise it bore, either way take you
Holding you I’m there, t’ was curt
That the hand was there made
No difference to my strife
But that the hand was there made
All that difference in my life
Too long I stood at those crossroads three
‘Cos down was I pushed that path new
Respect, said the pushing hands
I was pushed, ‘tis true.
Now I find a way strange, so different
From the rest, alienated felt I
Swallowed by loneliness but deserted by tears
The hand that remained saying, don’t cry.
She was there..
I saw her eyes, confused she was
A multitude of feelings played within them
Conviction over powering, or was it passion?
Inferiority passed by, with Doubt
His missus, while strangling all the way
Confidence, his nemesis.
And yet far away, happiness shone,
On a passing thought or a lasting feeling
Is something that remains unknown.
Her lips parted and I saw a waver
Giving way to Breath and
Breath alone, words failed her
A moment this and a moment after,
Her heart strengthened, her cheeks widened
Eyes gleaming, I saw a smile appear
Just when the hope would fade away,
Before the smile could pass, I closed my eyes
And from the mirror, looked away.
Lonely
I feel so lonely in this world of many
Feels like you're by me, feels like you aren't
Is it your seeming indifference? If so then why?
Is it your bearing illness? Was that not my fault?
I left you alone, now I have been so.
Whether on purpose or otherwise is beyond
My understanding. If it be so, I do ask of you
To, upon me, show understanding and forgiveness
And Portia's very own mercy. I am human as you are.
My mistake was once yours. How was mine worse?
Was I truly the only light that gleamed Joy?
That when I turned away, I left you in the dark?
Was it that pain that became anger? And culminated into sorrow?
If that be so, I am honoured. And yet each day
That pass without the blessing of your smile send my heart
Plunging; deep into the pools of Guilt and Misery.
Is there an answer to this?
In the haven of your heart? Or in your closet of life?
A picture; a person; an experience; a word?
Could the word be mine that shine?
And yet, all I wish to say within these lines prolonged
Is a phrase so small; so often used and yet so powerful
I miss you.
Feels like you're by me, feels like you aren't
Is it your seeming indifference? If so then why?
Is it your bearing illness? Was that not my fault?
I left you alone, now I have been so.
Whether on purpose or otherwise is beyond
My understanding. If it be so, I do ask of you
To, upon me, show understanding and forgiveness
And Portia's very own mercy. I am human as you are.
My mistake was once yours. How was mine worse?
Was I truly the only light that gleamed Joy?
That when I turned away, I left you in the dark?
Was it that pain that became anger? And culminated into sorrow?
If that be so, I am honoured. And yet each day
That pass without the blessing of your smile send my heart
Plunging; deep into the pools of Guilt and Misery.
Is there an answer to this?
In the haven of your heart? Or in your closet of life?
A picture; a person; an experience; a word?
Could the word be mine that shine?
And yet, all I wish to say within these lines prolonged
Is a phrase so small; so often used and yet so powerful
I miss you.
The mystery called MTC
This is probably the nth blog entry written by the users of the transport mode known as Metropolitan Transport Corporation of Chennai. Ugh. Nightmare I tell you. I'll start off my experience with the MTC buses.
My IIT HSEE entrance coaching classes right? (The crash course which right now is my only ticket out of my house) Well anyway, I'm supposed to go there by bus EVERYDAY. And honestly speaking, I didn't mind. I love travelling and means doesn't deter me.
So anyhow, one day mother dearest accompanies to the location (G N chetty road T.nagar) and we find out about the positioning of the bus stands that receive buses that come from and go to Vadapalani (that being the place closest to mine). We were shown two bus stands (let's name them x and y for now)that meet our requirements.
Day 1
Comes first day of class and so do I, all geared up, to Vadapalani. I saw my 12b waiting all ready for me. I climb in buy my ticket to y, deciding to try my luck there.
So the x stop came and I ignored it hvaing decided to go to y. After two minutes, I realise the bus wasn't going to y at all! Aghast, I climbed out ASAP and caught an auto, arriving 5 minutes late for class. Arghhh.
Return: I realised that probably, the bus doesn't go to y so I go back to x and wait for my bus. And then I come to understand that 12b doesn't come there on its return journey at all!!! So instead I had to catch this ultra crowded 11h on which they actually made me stand on the foot board!!
DAY 2
I go to Vadapalani again. This time I catch an M12b. I ask for y. The guy says no luck, goes only to x. I'm like "thanks a lot". A genuine thanks. So before getting down, I ask the conductor about the routes. He tells me that the bus, both 12b and M12b, take the route through x while going and come back through y. I thanked him and got off.
Return: I walk to y. I notice there's a bus stand on the left side of the road so I look for its counterpart on the right. When I do see what I'm looking for, I look on the side of it and it says 47, m147b, 147b no 12b!!!! I was pissed! But i thought that maybe the bus stand I was looking for would be further down the road. Having walked further, I ask an automan. He looks at me, points further down the road, shows me speck of red far away and says "antha signal kitta left eduthu konja thooram nadandha varum" I felt like saying "poyaaaaa...!!!!" But I decided to chuck that and walked back in the general direction of my class. Came to the flyover. Traffic police ayya kitta directions ketteyn. He pointed in the direction of x and says go that way and take a left. So I walk beneath the flyover and walk till the road forks. There I ask the auto man again. He points straight and tells me that at the corner I will find my destination. I walk. When I reach that corner an informed watchman some building informs me that 12b no longer comes there and I was supposed to walk to the other side of the flyover and on the left I would see the bus stand. I was so damn furious!!!! But I walked back again. And suddenly remembered that police ayya's words "LEFT". Instinctively I took the nearest turn and lo and behold! There it waws! MY shrine! I went there! The next bus was an m12b. Joyfully climbed up and asked for a ticket to Vadapalani. Only later did I learn that it did not go to vadapalani!! And wnt to CMBT instead. Since I wasn't anyhow heading for home that day, I got down at a certain stop with my new found info.
Day 3:
Vadapalani, 12b, got down at x, went to class. Coming back, caught a 12b back to Vadapalani, flawless day
Day 4: Vadapalani, m12b, x, class.
Return: I went to my bus stop. An M12b came rolling by. I clambered in. I asked for CMBT, got a ticket. Then, one of my ex seniors got in and asked for the stop which was right in front of my house!!!!!!!!!! And I was like, this bus goes there??? Because, if it were going to CMBT and not Vadapalani, it can't come to my place but here it was! So I waited and it turned out that today, the bus would not go straight to cmbt but go through Vadapalani instead!!! What crap!!! I seriously do NOT know how to figure out these routes!!! The same bus right? Goes to different places and different routes!! God help moi!!
My IIT HSEE entrance coaching classes right? (The crash course which right now is my only ticket out of my house) Well anyway, I'm supposed to go there by bus EVERYDAY. And honestly speaking, I didn't mind. I love travelling and means doesn't deter me.
So anyhow, one day mother dearest accompanies to the location (G N chetty road T.nagar) and we find out about the positioning of the bus stands that receive buses that come from and go to Vadapalani (that being the place closest to mine). We were shown two bus stands (let's name them x and y for now)that meet our requirements.
Day 1
Comes first day of class and so do I, all geared up, to Vadapalani. I saw my 12b waiting all ready for me. I climb in buy my ticket to y, deciding to try my luck there.
So the x stop came and I ignored it hvaing decided to go to y. After two minutes, I realise the bus wasn't going to y at all! Aghast, I climbed out ASAP and caught an auto, arriving 5 minutes late for class. Arghhh.
Return: I realised that probably, the bus doesn't go to y so I go back to x and wait for my bus. And then I come to understand that 12b doesn't come there on its return journey at all!!! So instead I had to catch this ultra crowded 11h on which they actually made me stand on the foot board!!
DAY 2
I go to Vadapalani again. This time I catch an M12b. I ask for y. The guy says no luck, goes only to x. I'm like "thanks a lot". A genuine thanks. So before getting down, I ask the conductor about the routes. He tells me that the bus, both 12b and M12b, take the route through x while going and come back through y. I thanked him and got off.
Return: I walk to y. I notice there's a bus stand on the left side of the road so I look for its counterpart on the right. When I do see what I'm looking for, I look on the side of it and it says 47, m147b, 147b no 12b!!!! I was pissed! But i thought that maybe the bus stand I was looking for would be further down the road. Having walked further, I ask an automan. He looks at me, points further down the road, shows me speck of red far away and says "antha signal kitta left eduthu konja thooram nadandha varum" I felt like saying "poyaaaaa...!!!!" But I decided to chuck that and walked back in the general direction of my class. Came to the flyover. Traffic police ayya kitta directions ketteyn. He pointed in the direction of x and says go that way and take a left. So I walk beneath the flyover and walk till the road forks. There I ask the auto man again. He points straight and tells me that at the corner I will find my destination. I walk. When I reach that corner an informed watchman some building informs me that 12b no longer comes there and I was supposed to walk to the other side of the flyover and on the left I would see the bus stand. I was so damn furious!!!! But I walked back again. And suddenly remembered that police ayya's words "LEFT". Instinctively I took the nearest turn and lo and behold! There it waws! MY shrine! I went there! The next bus was an m12b. Joyfully climbed up and asked for a ticket to Vadapalani. Only later did I learn that it did not go to vadapalani!! And wnt to CMBT instead. Since I wasn't anyhow heading for home that day, I got down at a certain stop with my new found info.
Day 3:
Vadapalani, 12b, got down at x, went to class. Coming back, caught a 12b back to Vadapalani, flawless day
Day 4: Vadapalani, m12b, x, class.
Return: I went to my bus stop. An M12b came rolling by. I clambered in. I asked for CMBT, got a ticket. Then, one of my ex seniors got in and asked for the stop which was right in front of my house!!!!!!!!!! And I was like, this bus goes there??? Because, if it were going to CMBT and not Vadapalani, it can't come to my place but here it was! So I waited and it turned out that today, the bus would not go straight to cmbt but go through Vadapalani instead!!! What crap!!! I seriously do NOT know how to figure out these routes!!! The same bus right? Goes to different places and different routes!! God help moi!!
Hurt
It’s hard to love and easy to hate
My conscience rips me apart
And yet much easier to hurt
Guilt, willingly, floods my heart
What gave me the power?
To hurt you so; to know
What that pains you is me
Wanting to stop, unable to do so.
It was my wrong to have done this
For ‘cos of my wrong do you suffer
Maybe, I wonder, maybe it would help
Maybe at the end, We will be tougher.
Apologize a million times I would
And willingly, like before
But thought twice I had and knew
It would comfort you no more.
My mind torments me as much
As it you, with no purpose nor aim
For ‘ve already cracked and know that
Our love, probably, will no longer be the same.
Life
A love is lost, a heart is torn,
A dream unfulfilled and hopes shattered
We look back at that Past with dismay
We try to look at the Future with hope repaired
Plans not carried out, feelings hurt,
Emotions worn on the sleeve,
We believe we’re at our worst
And of us, happiness has taken leave
Can nothing go wrong, we ask
And despise Murphy for his pessimism
Things will get better, we then say
And then, at ourselves, laugh with skepticism.
Then we look to the Wise,
And hope for wisdom, but with faces forlornA dream unfulfilled and hopes shattered
We look back at that Past with dismay
We try to look at the Future with hope repaired
Plans not carried out, feelings hurt,
Emotions worn on the sleeve,
We believe we’re at our worst
And of us, happiness has taken leave
Can nothing go wrong, we ask
And despise Murphy for his pessimism
Things will get better, we then say
And then, at ourselves, laugh with skepticism.
Then we look to the Wise,
Instead, tell us what we’ve known all along
That Life, my dear friends, must go on.
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