Lonely

I feel so lonely in this world of many
Feels like you're by me, feels like you aren't
Is it your seeming indifference? If so then why?
Is it your bearing illness? Was that not my fault?
I left you alone, now I have been so.
Whether on purpose or otherwise is beyond
My understanding. If it be so, I do ask of you
To, upon me, show understanding and forgiveness
And Portia's very own mercy. I am human as you are.
My mistake was once yours. How was mine worse?

Was I truly the only light that gleamed Joy?
That when I turned away, I left you in the dark?
Was it that pain that became anger? And culminated into sorrow?
If that be so, I am honoured. And yet each day
That pass without the blessing of your smile send my heart
Plunging; deep into the pools of Guilt and Misery.

Is there an answer to this?
In the haven of your heart? Or in your closet of life?
A picture; a person; an experience; a word?
Could the word be mine that shine?
And yet, all I wish to say within these lines prolonged
Is a phrase so small; so often used and yet so powerful
I miss you.